


twirl around in a lap dissolve

by Anonymous



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Dennis Being A Creep, Episode Coda: Dee Day, M/M, Not Taking the Dicktowel Show Too Seriously For Once, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 07:24:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21011975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Dennis and Charlie get high in the back office and jack each other off after Dee Day.





	twirl around in a lap dissolve

**Author's Note:**

> Things I should’ve been doing instead of writing this:  
-Writing my novel  
-Polishing my cover letter and Linkedin to find a better job  
-Cleaning my house  
-Anything else
> 
> But anyway I’ve spent the better part of two days in a celebratory state of drunkenness and then it was sort of like that ex boyfriend who is three sheets to the wind who you haven’t talked to for a year but who suddenly realizes you REALLY need to hear his voice. I’m that dude, but with IASIP fanfiction. You’re welcome.
> 
> This is totally unedited and I haven’t written for this fandom in a year so I’m rusty but whatever. Hopefully this makes you happy and/or horny. If not. . .well better luck elsewhere.
> 
> Oh and Dennis is Dennis-level creepy in this so content warning for you know. Just. . .him.

“It’s like, who even told her she was allowed to have her own day, you know? Dee’s not even part of the gang,” said Charlie, pacing. He took another long huff of paint thinner and passed Dennis the can. Dennis waved him off; after two hours of drinking and huffing, he’d had enough. He looked up at the ceiling in the back room, transfixed by the loose tile where Dee had once hid pizza.

“Frank’s not part of the gang either,” said Dennis. Charlie grunted with dissatisfaction and sat down next to him on the desk. He put the paint thinner to the side and folded his hands. His thigh jiggled with tense energy.

“Yeah, but Frank’s different. We do cool stuff when he’s around. Not -”

“I think you’re gonna say bird stuff, and I’m into it, but I can’t get behind Frank Day either. That was. . .objectively terrible,” said Dennis.

“Dennis Day was way worse,” said Charlie. “I still have scars on my hands from tying all that rope. Like, what was it even for?” He looked down at his palms, clenching and unclenching them. Dennis searched for those scars, but found Charlie’s hands to be far too damaged by work to tell which ones might be of his own doing.

“Binding. Being bound. It’s not important,” said Dennis, though it had been, to him. The extent of his sexual proclivities were best kept private - much more legal and highly erotic.

“My day was really the best one,” said Charlie, moving on with a smile. “I can’t believe we found so many ghouls. I mean. . . _ three _ !”

Rather than retorting Charlie’s ludicrous, immovable claims, Dennis seized his opening to bring up the real reason he’d gotten Charlie alone.

“Today. . .wasn’t all bad,” he said. His voice sounded hideously small in his own ears. Man, taking off his makeup had really put him off his game. Charlie gave him a disgusted look.

“You  _ liked  _ having to follow Dee’s commands all day?”

“No! I just -” He sighed, frustrated. Somewhere past forty this had all gotten so much harder. “It was. . .fun acting with you. Or. . .whatever. Even though we were forced to do it by that goddamn bird.”

Charlie nodded. “First play in a while, right? Mac’s so bossy about theater ever since he’s been gay like  _ I’m  _ not the one who’s written an entire musical -”

Oh no. Mac was  _ not  _ intruding on this moment when he wasn’t even  _ here _ . Dennis shut Charlie up with a kiss. His friend sighed into it just as he had the first time.  _ This  _ \- Dennis could do  _ this _ .

“Wow,” said Charlie when they pulled away from one another to catch their breaths. “You don’t even taste like cheese this time.”

“Maybe it’s the paint thinner talking, but you don't taste too bad yourself, buddy," said Dennis. He leaned in for another kiss, this time curving his hand into Charlie's inner thigh. Dennis breathed a sigh of relief when Charlie moaned into his mouth. Charlie groped around for Dennis's thigh and palmed at his hard cock over his pants. Dennis's breath grew heavy.

"Fuck, Charlie."

He freed Charlie's cock from his underwear. It was thick, warm, and meaty in his hand. Charlie groaned.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he said. His hand grasped for the button on the front of Dennis’s pants, and opened it with surprising dexterity. He slid his hand through the hair peeking out of Dennis’s pants, down through the thicket of pubic hair on his cock, and then over its entire length. Dennis kissed up Charlie’s stubbly jaw as he started to jack him off.

“I felt you get hard, earlier,” he said into Charlie’s ear. “When we were kissing. You wanted to keep going.”

Charlie pulled Dennis’s cock out of his pants. He licked his own hand palm to tip and started to jack off Dennis too.

“What about how I felt  _ you _ get hard, huh? At least I wasn’t in front of my goddamn sister,” he said. Charlie ran his thumb slowly over the head of Dennis’s cock in a way that made Dennis shudder.

“The body wants. . .what it wants. . .Charlie,” he said, feeling too far gone to even kiss Charlie anymore. He rested his forehead on Charlie’s shoulder and jerked him off even faster. It suddenly was imperative that Charlie climax first. Charlie needed to need this more than Dennis did.

With a skilled twist of the wrist borne of a thousand hours of fucking himself, Charlie came all over Dennis’s hand. The sight of Charlie shooting was so erotic that Dennis followed directly after.

As Charlie caught his breath, Dennis’s eyes roamed over to his own phone. The little green light in the corner told him all he needed to know. Tonight, he could relive this entire moment again in stereo.

**Author's Note:**

> Really felt myself come home talking about how Dennis doesn’t usually even let someone else come first. Thanks for reading!


End file.
